Cleveland Witch Tries to Curse the White Sox Again… Accidentally Curses Her Own Team Instead

She’s been at this for a while now. A couple of years ago, she tried to put a curse on Mike Clevinger after he left the Guardians, and now she’s back at it again, live-tweeting hexes at the White Sox like she’s the final boss of the American League Central.

The only problem? She’s terrible at this.

While she’s out here burning sage and pouring Frank’s Hot Sauce into a mason jar and trying to put the bad juju on us, it looks like the curse somehow missed and hit her own team instead.

Story continues below.

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The Guardians have been playing like they’re personally offended by the idea of winning baseball games, and the White Sox? They’re out here moving like they are protected by a higher power.

Are they?

Well, they’ve got the Pope on their side. And we’ve got Mike Vasil, the Wizard.

The Pope Is Running Spiritual Interference

Pope Leo XIV is a legitimate White Sox fan. The man has worn the hat. He’s on film at the 2005 World Series. He just told AJ that he’s watching what’s happening on the Southside.

He’s trolled Cubs fans from the Vatican. So while this woman in Cleveland is out here trying to hex the Sox, we’ve got the actual Pope running cover from Rome.

That’s not even fair. That’s like bringing an Ouija board to a gunfight where the other guy has God on payroll.

Mike Vasil Took One for the Team (Literally)

And then there’s Mike Vasil.

Vasil was supposed to be a big part of the bullpen this year. Instead, he blew out his elbow in spring training like some kind of sacrificial lamb. And ever since then, things have felt… different.

Coincidence? Maybe. But it’s way funnier if we don’t treat it like one.

While other teams are out here relying on spin rate and velocity, we’ve got a 6-foot-5 right-hander who apparently sold his UCL to the baseball gods so the rest of the pitching staff could eat. That’s not just a teammate.

That’s a wizard.

That’s a guy who took a dark magic bullet for the squad and is now operating from the injured list like some kind of injured sorcerer supreme.

He didn’t even get to throw a meaningful pitch this season, and he’s still out here doing protective magic. That’s elite.

This Witch Is 0-2, and It’s Getting Sad

At this point, this woman needs to hang it up. She tried to curse us before, and it obviously didn’t stick. Now she’s back for round two, and Cleveland is the one that looks cursed. The Guardians are out here looking like they’re personally offended by the concept of winning, and she’s still out here posting hexes like she’s the solution.

Again, fix this before putting “hexes” on other teams.

Ma’am, maybe the problem isn’t the White Sox. Maybe the problem is whatever you’re doing in your apartment above a Subway in Cleveland.

We’ve got the Pope, and we’ve got Vasil the Wizard watching over us.

That’s better protection than most teams have in the entire league. And you’re out here trying to curse us with what? Vibes? A strongly worded tweet?

Be serious.

What’s On Tap Next?

A witch from Cleveland tried to curse the White Sox again and somehow made her own team worse. We’ve got the Pope on our side and Mike Vasil operating as some kind of injured sorcerer supreme from the IL.

Meanwhile, a White Sox team that has been almost absolutely horrible on the road has two of its best road games of the season after an attempted hex. Makes you think…

Stay cursed, Cleveland.