TSN interview<\/a> back in January, revealing he suffered anxiety attacks before and during that late-December start against the Maple Leafs before consulting a health professional from the NHL\/NHLPA Player Assistance program.<\/p>\n\u201cI needed more help at that point, and it was scary at the moment as well, because I didn\u2019t know what was wrong. I didn\u2019t know how to fix it,\u201d Ullmark said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not something that I just have to deal with right now. I know that this is a very long process, and the help and support that I\u2019ve gotten has been immense.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ullmark eventually returned to the Senators in mid-January and joined the team on a three-game road trip later that month through Detroit, Columbus and Nashville. But he wasn\u2019t ready to play. Before his first game, Ullmark needed to cross off items on his personal checklist.<\/p>\n
His top priority was regaining his desire to play hockey again.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was no eagerness, there was no love, there was no joy of even thinking about playing hockey,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cIt was getting that joy in my everyday life back, being able to have fun with my kids and generally have fun with them, and not fake it \u2019til you make it.\u201d<\/p>\n
But once Ullmark returned to the team, his teammates welcomed him back with open arms. The Senators also allowed his former youth goaltending coach, Maciej Szwoch, to hang around the team and provide guidance \u2014 in addition team goalie coach Justin Peters offering regular instruction.<\/p>\n
When Ullmark played his first game back, on Jan. 31 against the New Jersey Devils, fans cheered and held signs of tribute for their goaltender. Ullmark has also received words of support from Tampa Bay Lightning defenseman Victor Hedman and Winnipeg Jets goaltender Connor Hellebuyck.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe trust him, believe in him, but also there\u2019s no pressure,\u201d Senators forward Tim St\u00fctzle said in January. \u201cWe support him. We know what he\u2019s been going through, and we just want to be there for him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was just really happy to see him back. That was my first reaction. I didn\u2019t even think about what was spread out in the media, to be honest, because I couldn\u2019t care less.\u201d<\/p>\n
Since Ullmark\u2019s return, the Swedish netminder is 12-4-3 in his last 19 appearances with the Senators, while helping the team in their efforts to make the playoffs for the second consecutive season. But despite recent performances, Ullmark is still balancing being ready mentally and physically for games. In recent days, the Senators have allowed Ullmark to skip morning skates for maintenance purposes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s super hard. Every day is taxing. You\u2019re running on low fumes sometimes,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cAnd you need to take more care of yourself from different perspectives. There\u2019s certain moments in time where my battery is so low that I don\u2019t want to be with anyone. And when those times happen in your home, and you have two kiddos, you have to be able to give them everything that you can.\u201d<\/p>\n
But the Senators are still leaning heavily on Ullmark with a handful of games to go in their playoff chase, with success. On Tuesday, Ullmark made 28 saves in a 6-2 victory over the Lightning to help keep the Senators in the second wild-card playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. The victories will help, but Ullmark will continue his process in aiding himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m still very much fighting the demons every single day, and this time around,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cThe\u00a0difference is that I have more tools and more knowledge about this whole situation and about myself, so I\u2019m able to handle it better than I was beforehand.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"OTTAWA \u2014 Near the end of a regular season filled with ups and downs on and off the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":547465,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[3],"tags":[5,4,25],"class_list":{"0":"post-547464","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-nhl","8":"tag-hockey","9":"tag-nhl","10":"tag-ottawa-senators"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/channels.im\/@nhl\/116369440579439945","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/547464","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=547464"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/547464\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/547465"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=547464"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=547464"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rawchili.com\/nhl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=547464"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}