Cardinals After Dark 4/27

37 comments

1. When no appearance in the bottom of the 8th by Helsley, bitchy me said, “Oli must be saving him for the bottom of the 9th when it’s a one run game with bases loaded”

   I’m happy to be wrong 🤗

2. Ok, THIS time it’s the momentum starter. False alarm last time guys. I never doubted

3. Thank you cardinals for not making me sad today.

4. Fredbird is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the JJ Muggs Stadium Grill. We exchange a few pleasantries. He asks what I do. I say I loved him in Jerry Maguire. He laughs. I get my drink.

   “Well, see ya,” I say and walk away. I’ve got his attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Fredbird? He shotguns a natty seltzer as I leave.

   Later, as the night’s dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, he finds me on the balcony, Mo’s tie tied around my head like in the movies, drinking a bud heavy.

   “Got a spare?” he asks.

   “What’s in it for me?” I say as I hand him a king of beers. He squawks.

   “Conversation with me, duh.”

   I laugh.

   “What’s so funny?” he protests.

   “Nothing, nothing… It’s just… don’t you grow tired of the egos?”

   “You get used to it,” se says, downing the beer and handing me back the empty can.

   “What would you do if you weren’t a bird?” I ask.

   “Athlete, I think.”

   “And if I was your fan, what would I be having fun?”

   “Shitposting” he says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. “Where are you from?”

   “Arizona,” I say.

   “Oh wow. That’s lovely.”

   “It’s ok,” I admit. “Not everything is to my liking.”

   “What could possibly be not to your liking in Arizona?” he inquires.

   “I don’t like sand,” I tell him. “It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.”

5. I really feel like something clicked for the boys today. Hope it continues

6. Rumors of our death greatly (somewhat) exaggerated?

7. Only 6 more of those and we’re .500, a record that is not respectable or good and should not be celebrated

8. Let’s just go ahead and play 2 today.

9. Sweep the Dodgers and it’s a .500 road trip. lol…

10. The way the Cardinals played today is how you have to play when you’re struggling. You have to hustle for every out and every base. I loved Tommy hustling to beat that throw and make it a 2-0 game. And Arenado running around the bases to score and make it 3-0. And Kiz might have saved the season with his play at the plate.

    I’m feeling good about it boys. Here we go

11. My patience is starting to pay off 😈

12. Winner!!

13. The end of the Dodgers series was always the one I had circled as when I wanted to place a bet on the Cards to win the division.

    The schedule lightens significantly after that, with the angels, tigers, cubs, and the Red Sox as our next 4 series.

    After that is MIL and LAD at home, followed by the reds, Indians, royals, pirates, rangers, reds, giants, Mets, nationals, cubs.

    Some of those are tough, but it’s the easiest stretch we have all year I think

14. Ohtani was about 3 feet away from being the first starting pitcher to hit for the cycle

15. How to find the team ERA with Kiz catching vs Contreras?

16. I really appreciated the strategy today of not only scoring runs, but the additional task of not allowing the opponent to score any. Experts might be saying this works.

17. #THAT’S ONE IN A ROW !!!!!

18. No muss no fuss. Nice clean drama-less win where everyone contributed. Would be really awesome if they can do that in games other than the last one of the series.

19. With most of the bullpen getting a nice rest today maybe we can string a few W’s together, eh? Wouldn’t that be a nice treat? Birbs!

20. Whatever everyone is wearing today should be worn everyday for the duration of the season. Alternate outfits on off days only. I have spoken.

21. Winning six more in a row isn’t unheard of. Just getting back to .500 would be a huge step in the right direction.

22. Quality starts, eh?

23. Today on: Blind Squirrel Finds Nuts

    The Cardinals win, somehow

24. hello, my name is phenylacetic as fuck, and i have an announcement to make.

    i come from an alternate timeline where the cardinals did NOT win that game. however, i was able to weave in and out of the flow of time until i was able to travel back in time to before first pitch and threaten the team that if they were to lose i would unleash thousands of hornets into each of their homes. this motivated them. changed them. unleashed them. that’s right, the only reason we won is because of me. I WAS THE ONE WHO TRAVELED THROUGH TIME AND SPACE AND WILLED THIS TO HAPPEN. enjoy the incoming 84-game winning streak

25. Neat.

26. Postgame Interviews

    [Oli](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qukm5N53n8)

    [Miles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqogtpVeq7c)

    [Kniz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vp5llA5T3g)

27. Good job cards

28. The one time I don’t fucking watch because I didn’t know it was a day game

29. We may never lose again!

30. Relief

31. Based on the signals I’m getting from my abdomen, I’m probably going to have to poop in about 90 minutes or so. Anyone want me to live-Reddit it?

32. This is the greatest team to ever step foot on the field

33. Woohoo that’s one in a row!

34. Admittedly I wasn’t when Miles was gonna deliver a quality start. Turns out it was today!

35. Pray to God that we can have a win for the first game of the series and that game will be tomorrow!

    What sacrifice should I make…

36. WE ARE SO BACK

37. Thank the lord (Albert Pujols) that we finally got one 😭 so glad that Mikolas had a good outing today