Joel’s ability to adapt his offense to a complete package is nonexistent unless he gets nanobots in his joints


Joel “Do A ”Tro “Hans” ell” 180” Embiid has one of the most complete offensive packages this league has ever seen. He is 7” tall with the explosiveness to dunk from a standstill. He has incredible touch at the rim for laying the ball up off the glass or scooped into the cup. He has a very usable 3-point shot that can be done off the catch or off the dribble for his own shot creation. He can create his own shot in the midrange over single, double, and triple teams. He can post up and back down anyone that isn’t tall, thick, and white.

Why then does he struggle in the postseason every year compared to his regular season performances if he has such a complete offensive skillset? It’s because he is mortal. Unfortunately for the city of Philadelphia, we regularly have to associate with people from Delco. Unfortunately for Joel Embiid, his mortal coil was not blessed with limbs capable of sustaining the power his body can generate in the sport of basketball over the long term.

He used to get hurt regularly during the regular season, and would miss considerable time and for nonstop shit for it. The past two seasons, however, he’s transformed his game to having minimal post play and almost entirely jump shooting. This has led to him being able to minimize the burden on his body by rarely engaging in wrestling matches for post position and very low risk of tangling feet as he is not jumping under the rim against a defender that is also jumping.

In addition to this, he rarely fights for rebounds or explosive blocks in the regular season, again minimizing risk of tangling feet on landing.

Come the playoffs, he brings back his old playstyle of bully ball and it has consistently immediately punishes him. Three seasons ago, he hurt his knee in round 1 on a rolling contested dunk https://youtu.be/QsunIKZ0rnQ. Two seasons ago he tore his right thumb in round 1 game 3, and then gets elbowed in the face fracturing his orbital. Last season, he tore his knee in round 1 game 4 after a contest at the rim where his feet got tangled up https://youtu.be/oz_dKM7dnVI.

Conclusion: inject the man with nanobots to support his joints and some glycopyrrolate to lessen the sweating

5 comments
  1. Yeah I mean the salient point here is that he’s been injured in almost every meaningful playoff series, and oftentimes it’s just freak shit like getting his face broken (twice). For some reason though, people forget this and think he’s a choke artist.

    I’m not really sure what the solution is. Take a step back on offense and just focus on playing solid defense/rebounding? Play 40 games in the regular season? He might be willing to give up his chance at regular season awards at this point. I’m not sure if ownership would be thrilled about regular season ticket sales potentially dipping though.

  2. He has backed down everyone, including people “tall, thick, and white”. You probably meant “Brook Lopez” and “walls of doubling 6’10” players”.

  3. He obviously goes harder in the playoffs which increase his chance of injury but I think it’s also the style of play we have used with Embiid is just not sustainable with him or converts to winning basketball.

    An offence where the main scorer is a Centre results in a very static offence a lot of the time.

    Even going back as far as Wilt Chamberlain earlier in his career. When he was the main scorer, on lesser teams I might add(but did well with the 64 Warriors) – they could never do well in the playoffs and his scoring numbers dropped off a cliff because they just doubled and tripled him every single player harder than in the regular season.

    Only when he had Alex Hannum as his coach in 64 for the warriors and 67 for the sixers in which he implemented a more of a motion offence and got everyone involved more did his teams start to do better – taking the offensive load off chamberlain.

    Embiid, like Chamberlain could be a much better defender and rebounder with more energy to expend on that side of the ball while playing in a smaller offensive role.

  4. Every player has weaknesses. It’s time we just accept him for who he is. He works hard. He loves the game. He is really good. It’s like we are trying to force him into being better than he is. His game was always based on skill so he always comes back better. I expect him to be good for a long time still.

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