Tier list based on if I think I could beat the team mascot in a street fight

35 comments
  1. I like how you don’t have the Titans in the last row. Is Zeus gonna back you up or something?

  2. My favorite thing about this is that Dolphins ranks above some mascots with actual weapons. Dolphins are dicks.

  3. For starters, I put way too much thought into this post. I think you overestimate your ability against any bird of prey. Those are 2lb+ razor-clad missiles flying at your head. And against a dolphin, horse or a buffalo you’re doomed. Personally I’m not sure if I can take any of these, unless the raiders/buccaneers are Johnny Depp, or the malnourished Somali types.

  4. This sub should be a miscellaneous NFL tier list sub next week if we don’t make the playoffs.

  5. Bro I will slap the Jacksonville Jaguar in the mouth in front of his mother. Fuck that.

  6. You’d easily defeat pirates, prospectors, and cowboys……but you have no chance against the plant worker at USS Edgar Thompson?

  7. Dolphin depends on if you are on land or on sea, plus idk if you know this but a colt is a baby horse. 49er would probably kick most modern people’s asses too

  8. Is this based on the fighting prowess of the person wearing the mascot costume, or does it assume that say, the Bengals’ mascot is a real bengal tiger?

  9. The Patriots cross rivers at night and kill you in your sleep. I don’t think you have a chance.

  10. Some dude on a bike in colorado choked out a mountain lion several years ago. Im buying puts on cats.

  11. Are, are the Browns just a poc? 😨 if it’s the pitbull I would put it at least one tier lower

  12. It’s a good thing this isn’t an NHL list because you’d need a tier for will kill you in your sleep for Gritty.

  13. McBeam been laid off since 83, the most dangerous creation of an society is the man who has nothing to lose…

  14. I love how the Raiders, Cowboys, Bucs are winnable, but you’re unsure of the Commanders and Patriots???

  15. You find yourself in the ocean, 20’ waves, I’m assuming it’s off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 570 pound dolphin, with his 20 or 30 friends? You lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times outta 10. And guess what, you’ve wandered into our school of dolphin, and we now have a taste of human. We’ve talked to ourselves, we’ve communicated, and said “You know what”? Human tastes good, let’s go get some more human. We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring. We’ll construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp, we’ll be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It’s not gonna be days at time, but an hour, hour 45? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You’re outgunned and outmanned.

    Did that go the way you thought it was going to go?

  16. A Steeler is a blue collar worker just like a packer or a cowboy. Should be in that same category.

  17. A bronco would kick the shit outta u! And a cowboy is just a bronco with a gun carrying redneck on its back

  18. I don’t think you’re taking down a pirate, buddy (Buccs and Raiders) nor most Cowboys now that I think of it

  19. I don’t know you OP, but I think you’re overestimating yourself. The bottom three categories should all be ambulance-worthy.

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