MLB IG just used the Position Player Pitching bot message
January 29, 2024
MLB IG just used the Position Player Pitching bot message
6 comments
It originally came from the MLB Cut4 Twitter account
I hate the rule that they can’t do this as often. I hate any rule that changes anything. The best parts of baseball are when the game naturally evolves to become so broken that large stretches of games are unwatchable garbage time. More garbage time, more velocity, and more strikeouts please. I don’t want to ever see a ball in play. I don’t want to see pitchers take any less than 45 seconds before delivering each poorly placed fastball. I never want to see a starting pitcher enter the sixth inning. There should be at least 16 pitchers per roster. I want to view at least seven pitching changes a game and 14 mound visits. I want to see each pitcher throw over at least four times whenever there is a runner on base (which there should never be). I want there to be no base hits. Base hits should be counted either as strikeouts or walks. I never want to see a fielder field a baseball. Fielders should be replaced by more pitchers warming up to enter the game by practicing their mound visits. I only want to watch pitchers hitting and position players pitching. Once every year when this arrangement produces an interesting play I will say “yes. Real baseball.” Everyone who does not want this loves licking Manfred’s big plump juicy toes and telling him he’s beautiful and taking him to nice resturants that just barely sneak into google’s two dollar sign category. Everyone who doesn’t want this hates baseball and should be banned from watching it and should watch tik toks instead. Everyone who wants to change baseball should be shadow banned from being a Diamond Sports account holder and should be forced to endure watching a live baseball game while drinking only three 24 ounce beers before driving home because the concession stands are so long that you miss all the action. Everyone who does not like this is a sick freak with a short attention span irreparably soiled by the decadence of contemporary culture that does not deserve to enjoy America’s sacred pastime. Everyone who does not like this has an attention span so short that they struggle to stay engaged during their nightly intercourse with Manfred, falling well short of his passionate pleas to edge him for more than a few minutes at a time. I am baseball. Baseball is waiting. Baseball is nothing and nowhere. Real baseball is waiting around in a park. No bases no mound no plate no balls no bats. No base hits. Baseball is waiting in a field and looking at the sky. Real baseball is pure baseball, which is standing still and being perfect. The last real baseball game was played in May of 1754 during an unseasonably warm spell in colonial New York and you can only enjoy real baseball by reading the one book that describes it. You can only take the book out from the library if you are a real baseball fan who is perfect. You are not perfect, you do not like real baseball, you hate being perfect because you’re a little imperfect unpure loser who hates baseball. So stop trying to ruin it for the real baseball fans. I hate you. You hate baseball and I am baseball. You hate me because I am baseball. You will never be a real baseball fan.
Charlie Culberson shedding a tear rn
Really wish we saw it more often. You’re behind 7 runs in the 9th, find out if you have a Shohei in the rough
atCut4 tweeting this is my favorite part of baseball
Really surprised to see Jacob Stallings on the main subreddit
6 comments
It originally came from the MLB Cut4 Twitter account
I hate the rule that they can’t do this as often. I hate any rule that changes anything. The best parts of baseball are when the game naturally evolves to become so broken that large stretches of games are unwatchable garbage time. More garbage time, more velocity, and more strikeouts please. I don’t want to ever see a ball in play. I don’t want to see pitchers take any less than 45 seconds before delivering each poorly placed fastball. I never want to see a starting pitcher enter the sixth inning. There should be at least 16 pitchers per roster. I want to view at least seven pitching changes a game and 14 mound visits. I want to see each pitcher throw over at least four times whenever there is a runner on base (which there should never be). I want there to be no base hits. Base hits should be counted either as strikeouts or walks. I never want to see a fielder field a baseball. Fielders should be replaced by more pitchers warming up to enter the game by practicing their mound visits. I only want to watch pitchers hitting and position players pitching. Once every year when this arrangement produces an interesting play I will say “yes. Real baseball.” Everyone who does not want this loves licking Manfred’s big plump juicy toes and telling him he’s beautiful and taking him to nice resturants that just barely sneak into google’s two dollar sign category. Everyone who doesn’t want this hates baseball and should be banned from watching it and should watch tik toks instead. Everyone who wants to change baseball should be shadow banned from being a Diamond Sports account holder and should be forced to endure watching a live baseball game while drinking only three 24 ounce beers before driving home because the concession stands are so long that you miss all the action. Everyone who does not like this is a sick freak with a short attention span irreparably soiled by the decadence of contemporary culture that does not deserve to enjoy America’s sacred pastime. Everyone who does not like this has an attention span so short that they struggle to stay engaged during their nightly intercourse with Manfred, falling well short of his passionate pleas to edge him for more than a few minutes at a time. I am baseball. Baseball is waiting. Baseball is nothing and nowhere. Real baseball is waiting around in a park. No bases no mound no plate no balls no bats. No base hits. Baseball is waiting in a field and looking at the sky. Real baseball is pure baseball, which is standing still and being perfect. The last real baseball game was played in May of 1754 during an unseasonably warm spell in colonial New York and you can only enjoy real baseball by reading the one book that describes it. You can only take the book out from the library if you are a real baseball fan who is perfect. You are not perfect, you do not like real baseball, you hate being perfect because you’re a little imperfect unpure loser who hates baseball. So stop trying to ruin it for the real baseball fans. I hate you. You hate baseball and I am baseball. You hate me because I am baseball. You will never be a real baseball fan.
Charlie Culberson shedding a tear rn
Really wish we saw it more often. You’re behind 7 runs in the 9th, find out if you have a Shohei in the rough
atCut4 tweeting this is my favorite part of baseball
Really surprised to see Jacob Stallings on the main subreddit