How to fix soccer

37 comments

1. Get rid of yellow and red cards and replace with a sin bin

2. Make all games entirely indoor and have each team have their own goal horn for when they score at home. Allow fights

3. They forgot…

   6. Put knife blades on player’s feet

   7. Arm everyone with a stick

   8. Let the players slug it out if they feel like it

4. This guy gets it

5. No, really . . . . as a fan of sports generally, hockey has this to offer soccer: a) continuous substitution – higher tempo with fans seeing more players off the bench, and, b) temporary expulsions – there is far more flexibility for hockey referees, while soccer referees (and the rules) routinely wreck games with ineffectual yellow cards or devastating red cards.

6. Replace the ball with a puck.

   Give everyone a stick.

   Let them fight each other.

7. So indoor soccer then. Definitely has a bunch of hockey influence; we had a team for one season when I was 8 and I thought it was the best thing ever, both my favorite sports combined.

8. Ice.

9. A hell of a lot more strategy in Soccer than hockey.

10. Allow fights.

11. Agreed!

12. Hockey is my true love but I’d by lying if I said I didn’t love Real Madrid also

13. 6. make fighting mandatory

    7. replace ball with a vulcanized rubber disc.

    8. attach knives to the underside of boots.

    9. give a wooden club to all players.

14. nah i prefer my two favorite sports the way they are. seperate but equal….. wait that didn’t come out right

15. Glad they didn’t suggest adding more teams, adding more meaningless games by increasing the length of the season and removing the relegation model. Phew.

16. Forgot to add commercial breaks!

17. How to fix soccer: Watch Hockey instead.

18. 6. The goalies can slug it out for shits and giggles

19. We’ll all wear sharp metal blades on the bottom of our shoes, carry long, pointy sticks and chase a teeny tiny puck of rubber while dodging lines and sometimes even each other, but remember… NO FIGHTING!

    What a great idea!

20. LOL I am from Brazil so I am pretty used to soccer. Until I found out about hockey when I was 12. From that moment onwards, I could never like soccer. Too much bs, faking, can’t fight…Local games can turn violent tho.

    For example, this week there is a video from a local game where one guy is down with his head full of blood and another dude (his father) with a fucking broken leg, like, anderson silva broken shin you know? There was brawl in the game. People was like “oh thats why I quit soccer, violent dudes plays it like is world cup and ends the fun” I am like: LOL man up, hockey used to fix this issue with enforcers and goons. Instead cry babing “huh duh they hurt me” in the next game just pull some big dudes with fists and teach them a lesson

21. I could improve soccer with one rule… If you fall down and act hurt, you won’t play the next 5 games. You know, for player safety.

22. also, just for fun, if a player scores three goals in a game, maybe fans throw something on the field. hats would be cool.

23. Calling soccer a sport is an intolerable insult to sports

24. (3) Is unironically a great idea. Soccer doesn’t have to be fatigueball.

25. You had me at hello.

26. Remove diving

27. That’s just indoor soccer

    I used to play this during winter. It was a 1/3 field with 3 forwards, two defensemen and a goalie and we had on-the-fly subs like in hockey. It was played on synthetic grass

    It was a lot of fun

28. It already exists.

    https://youtu.be/qzgEScKIP5Q?si=NwkjYTAjwsil2m6W

29. Ice everywhere….. Ha

30. there’s a sport named bandy, basically just soccer on ice

31. Or maybe just don’t watch soccer if you’re going to hate it so much.

32. 6. Get rid of pride nights /s

33. Also the ball is a frozen rubber cylinder

34. The only thing keeping me from embracing soccer is the shameless flopping by little cunts like Neymar.

35. 6. Give everbody a stick

36. Minus the ice, this sounds like The Soccer Tournament (spin off of The Basketball Tournament).

    7v7 on a smaller field with smaller goals. Hockey style on the fly substitutions. Plus the game always ends on a goal (after regular time add 1 to the leading team’s score, and first to that target score wins).

    It’s held it in Cary, NC in June. I went to the first one last year and it was a ton of fun. It’s a really fun twist on soccer.

37. Honestly smaller fields would make soccer significantly more entertaining to watch. Half the time spent is just running to the other side of the field